Dear guy in seat 10E,

I will be the first to admit that this letter is not the best way to communicate with you. It is passive-aggressive and accomplishes only the soul-cleansing, satisfying sensation of putting down on paper what 4 rows of people on Flight 780 should have said to you.

What they, or better yet, a crew member should have said to you is “Sir, you really, really need to turn the music on your iPod down because we can all hear it, and it is making us angry.” I think you missed the lady two rows in front of you who kept turning around, trying in an indirect way to let you know that she could hear something and was looking for its source. You had none of this, however, adding it to the list of other things you have none of like style, portion control, or most importantly, consideration.

I can’t get that great of a look at you because you are somewhat hidden by the even larger woman in seat 10F. I am leaving an anonymous note to the flight crew that the armrests in seats 10E and 10F will need to be examined for stress damage as we speak.

Anyhow, I have decided to call you Daryl because that’s what you look like. So, Daryl, a man your age which I take to be mid-30′s should not under any circumstances have the songs that you have. If only you had explored diferent music genres as vigorously as you have explored the product offerings of the Wendy’s value meal. I know for a fact that you contribute to society less than you take from it. This is based on my deduction that you clearly cannot think for yourself because the Billboard top 10 does that for you. If you cannot come up with your own decisions on such a basic concept as music, I surmise that you have nothing to add to society, yet you exist and this requires resources leading society to a net loss as a result of your existence.