Headline News, Travel + Leisure, and CNN.com released a list of America’s favorite cities as voted by their readers in a variety of categories (click here to see the article) such as best museums, diversity of people, flea markets, ethnic cuisine, and several others that probably don’t mean much to you. The winners in each category include all the cities you’d expect to see like New York, D.C., San Francisco, and apparently smartest of all, Seattle.

I found this list quite bigoted however, as it did not include any categories my hometown (you already know what it is) could adequately compete in. Now I adore my beloved hometown, but next time I’d like to see the list include the following categories to give it a fighting chance to win something:

1. Most lowriders per capita
2. Highest percentage of taqeurias per square yard
3. Highest spending on”Dickies” attire as a percentage of annual income
4. Best city to get your neck tattoo done in
5. Best city to catch Kid Frost’s comeback tour in
6. Busiest T.G.I. Friday’s on the west coast
7. Best city for  strawberry-related festivities
8. City with the least amount of Oxford University graduates
9. City with the most graduates from those “get your GED at home” schools they advertise on tv
10. City with the highest percentage of obese 24 Hour Fitness members
11. City with the highest average age in attendance at high school football games
12. City with most birthday parties held at the park
13. Best city for Aztec-related car hood artwork
14. City with quickest deterioration of an outlet mall
15. City where best nightlife is at a place known mostly for pizza
16. City with most language-barrier related issues between cashier and customer at the supermarket
17. City where fewest percentage of people have heard of Minnesota
18. Most competitive city for handball
19. Lowest percentage of Asian-fusion restaurants in southern California
20. City with highest percentage of American cars made before 1980 in current operation

Did I miss any…..?