(photo via New York Times)

You may have read about the latest round of model citizens/holiday coffee mug collectors/jihadists that were apprehended in Germany today as they plotted to attack American and German targets in Germany. They better not have been planning anything in that nice castle in Heidelberg, or I’ll be really, really pissed.

First of all, kudos to the Germans for taking down the bad guys, and of note is that their fellow umlaut lovers, the Danes, made a few arrests of their own. I didn’t find any pictures of the Danish arrests, but I hope to god that they involved usage of the skimask like the German arrests did, because no such action would have been possible without it.

There is just something inherently bad ass and completely awesome about the skimask being used to fight terror, and I don’t know why it isn’t employed more in the United States. If we don’t follow suit and wear skimasks when taking people down, the terrorists will have won. The Germans seem to understand this perfectly, and as any of you that have traveled will note, even the regular police in other countries always have badass uniforms, and the skimask takes it to the next level that says “think twice before you plot to blow our shit up with hydrogen peroxide”. If we want to be taken seriously, we should, nay, we must incorporate the widespread usage of the skimask at every level from the neighborhood watch all the way up to the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Perhaps if you are reading this from outside the US, you already understand the joy of skimask usage in your respective country when it comes to law enforcement. I wonder about certain countries like Australia though. I’m sure they carry big crocodile dundee knives, bullwhips, boomerangs, and didgeridoos rather than walkie-talkies, but do the elite units wear ski masks? I hope so. If so, I’m proud to have you as my country’s number one ally, and I tip my skimask to you, dear friends.