Now technically I’m not sure that this completely fits in the category of movies I haven’t seen because I have seen it. So have you and everyone else in existence. It may have been called something else like Animal House, PCU, National Lampoon’s Presents Van Wilder, Road Trip, Accepted, Old School, Revenge of the Nerds, or several American Pie movies. The plots may have varied slightly but the result was generally the same college movie basically implying that it would be a 4-year episode of Girls Gone Wild.

Here’s the actual summary of this film: a high school senior gets dumped by his girlfriend and is persuaded to attend college orientation with his good friends to help him forget about it. While at orientation, the group is recruited to pledge a fraternity where as luck would have it, they happen to meet some sorority girls. No way! Awesome! Over-zealous Frat bros become jealous of the pledges’ success with females and as such take it out on them through severe hazing, but the friends have other ideas in mind and decide to play a big joke on them instead. Ohhhh snap! No you didn’t!

Here’s a better summary of the film: predictable storyline starts with breakup. Group of guys embark on college orientation and cliches unfold one after another involving beer, girls and the college Greek system. Finally, against the odds, the underdogs achieve their goals set to a soundtrack of Time Life’s “Almost Punk” anthology, making fools of their antagonists and end up with hot women. Roll credits.

The cast is made up of a bunch of people you have seriously never heard of which means they might qualify to run with John McCain since it looks like my blog post suggesting Christopher Cross was unpersuasive. Guess he’s not a reader. Anyway, you’ll have a better chance recognizing names like Stacey L. Taniguchi in the hair and makeup credits than you will any of the lead roles. MGM has distribution rights and if they are smart they will distribute it straight to the $4.99 DVD bin at Target where it will be passed over for Ernest Goes To Jail. I have confirmed with my sources that the Chinese won’t be bothering to disregard international copyright laws and make illegal duplicates of this one, although the Russians will cause they like things that aren’t funny.

In conclusion, I don’t know who the president of Lionsgate Films is, but I don’t want him or her on my team for Pictionary cause that individual is as unimaginative as a German accountant, your average reggae song writer when they’re not really baked, or better yet, someone who would write a movie about people being in college and name that movie “College”. The movie may have been named by the masters of wit that own”Bistro Cafe”, a place I passed by recently which, when broken out, translates to “a small, European style restaurant or cafe Cafe.”  I want to know who gave the green light on the movie College and how long they’ve been color blind and I eagerly await the sequel, to be called something creative like “University”, “The 4-5 Years of School After High School”, “Undergraduate Degree”, “Studies”, or “Bachelor of Arts or Sciences”.

Watch the College movie trailer here