Look, times are tough. Those of us that have jobs know we’re lucky to not find ourselves doing things for money that might bring us shame like working, in any capacity, for either the Hallmark or Lifetime networks. Some people, however, are not as lucky, two of them being Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon, for it could only have been a set of dire circumstances that would have led either of these two quality performers to take part in Four Christmases which is as unique as a fat person at Applebee’s.

As you probably have already guessed, Four Christmases (click here to watch the Four Christmases Trailer) is not about a hybrid of the single-day Christian tradition of Christmas with the multi-day Jewish holiday of Hannukah, although that would be kind of cool cause we’d get more time off. Here’s the premise: a well-to-do, argumentative, childless, Whole Foods-shopping, BMW-driving, little dog-owning, The North Face-wearing (last 4 are conjecture) San Francisco couple decide to take a vacation to Fiji during Christmas as they normally do to avoid spending time with their families. Unfortunately, fog descends on San Francisco International Airport (I know, who would’ve guessed it, right?), and rather than waiting a few hours or at most a day like rational, less uptight individuals might, they decide to cancel their plans after their cover is blown when they appear in a television interview because we all know how hard it is to prevent oneself from appearing in TV interviews at the airport. Feeling guilty, they set out to visit their families in the area and as both of their parents have divorced and remarried, there are 4 different families for them to visit. No way, how crazy!

Let’s see…what would make their visits way hilarious? Oh, what if Vince Vaughn’s brothers are cage fighters who like totally start fighting in the living room? How about we make one of them John Favreau since he and Vince Vaughn have managed to make a movie worth seeing previously? Haha, awesome!!! You know what else is funny, chicks that are like way sexually aggressive! Surely it will result in laughs if Reese Witherspoon’s sister is hot, over-sexed, and flirts with Vince Vaughn all the time, kind of like a doable version of Blanche from Golden Girls. Let’s throw John Voigt in there as a parent too just cause why not, and possibly someone should get kicked in the balls at some point cause that’s always funny. YAY…we got a movie!!!!!

And that’s pretty much it. They go house to house and mayhem ensues, kind of like Jehova’s Witnesses only less creepy and without $50 suits and pamphlets in tow. Four Christmases is something you might like if you are unimaginative and would enjoy spending 80 minutes of your life waiting for something to be entertaining or funny. There will be more originality in the bag of Werther’s Originals you bring to the theater than there will be on screen during those 80 minutes if you see Four Christmases. Then again, much like Wisconsin, I haven’t seen it.