“I Wanna Sex You Up”- Songs Dissected

The year was 1991. Your pants were pegged, and your Thursday nights were dedicated to the wealthy shenanigans of the cool kids (and Andrea) of Beverly Hills, 90210. Though you should have been more concerned with communism ending along with the cold war, you were fascinated by the quartet Color Me Badd, and their hit song “I Wanna Sex You Up”. About a year later you find yourself embarrassed and hope that no one remembers you having their tape when you’re lining up outside The Warehouse for Nirvana tickets, so just in case you forgot this early 90′s classic, I’ve broken it down here for you.

Come inside, take off your coat, I’ll make you feel at home.
Now let’s pour a glass of wine ’cause now we’re all alone.

The songs begins with the singer inviting their guest inside, offering a “Mi casa, su casa” type of hospitality. The singer then offers the guest a glass of wine due to the fact that they are alone. The clandestine nature of such wine consumption may indicate that the participants are either under the age of 21, or that the wine is a Merlot.

I’ve been waiting for you girl, just let me hold you close to me,
‘Cause I’ve been dyin’ for you girl, to make love to me.

An important piece of information is revealed here, as based on Color Me Badd’s physical appearance, one would not have been immediately sure whether the subject of this song would be male or female. Here, we are told that the subject of the song is indeed a female, but this could be an all out lie, as this same smoke and mirrors technique served George Michael well in the years leading up to Color Me Badd’s arrival on the gay-sounding, but not-quite-sure music scene (later to be usurped by Dave Matthews).

Girl, you make me feel real good.
We can do it ’til we both wake up.

The declarations of love continue, but the singer appears to be confused as to how love-making actually occurs because he states that “we can do it ’til we both wake up”, indicating that somehow the entire act will be performed while they sleep. Perhaps the “birds and the bees” talk was never had with Color me Badd, or perhaps it was had with them by Jerry Falwell who was rumored to be a big fan.

Girl, you know I’m hooked on you,
And this is what I’ll do…

Ever the hopeless romantic, Color Me Badd reveal that they are “hooked” on this girl, thereby incorporating her on a list with dangly earrings, and mousse. They then go on to indicate that they will shortly describe how the encounter will transpire.

I wanna rub you down.
I wanna sex you up.
All night.
Girl You make me feel / Girl I want it / real good.
I wanna rub you down.
I wanna sex you up.

The artists continue the song with a serious of one line statements and sentence fragments. Not unlike a hostage situation, which may also characterize many of Color Me Badd’s interactions with females, this stanza consists of the dictation of things they want. These things include the deliverance of massages, lovemaking, and the desire for these things to be “real good”. For extra emphasis, the demands to give massages and make love are reiterated at the end of the stanza

Let me take off all your clothes.
We’ll disconnect the phone so nobody knows.

Here we see things get slightly weird, not with the straight to the point request to take off the female’s clothes, but with the fact that the phone needs to be disconnected for some reason. Is the title of the song “I want to phone-sex you up”? Are the members of Color Me Badd somehow linked to Al-Qaeda and being tapped? There is no reason given why disconnecting the phone is necessary or will prevent anyone from knowing what is going on, unless they have inadvertently dialed someone and placed the phone on speaker. It may also be so that the female cannot alert the proper authorities if Color Me Badd’s advances are unrequited or when she realizes that they probably put something in her drink.

Let me light a candle,
So that we can make it better.
Makin’ love until we drown.

The confusion continues here. The use of candles to heighten romance is well documented, but the singer does not elaborate on the candle’s purpose in the situation. Perhaps in the course of disconnecting the phone, the electricity was cut off as well and the candles are necessary to see. Given what we know of Color Me Badd, however, the female will quickly desire for the candle to be extinguished so that their appearance can be once again enhanced by the cover of darkness.

Confusion also surrounds the assertion of the possibility of drowning, and that such drowning can be hastened by their lovemaking. The fact that the artists mentioned pouring a glass of wine earlier in the song is indicative that their lovemaking is likely not underwater, thereby reducing the risk of drowning. Further, due to their ignorance of popular slang, the artists may have thought drowning was probable due to the female’s likely insistence on him wearing a “raincoat”, but his fixation on drowning is never fully explained.

Girl, you know it feels real good
We can do it ’til we both wake up.
Girl, you know I’m hooked on you.
And this is what I’ll do.

Leaving no room for debate, the artists tell the female that the experience is enjoyable, however, the statement is uncorroborated as no evidence of such enjoyment by the female actually exists. Again, the statement is made that they will be making love until they both wake up, leading to the conclusion that one of them might be unconscious during it possibly making this a criminal act. Several other lines follow this stanza, but they are largely without meaning and have been purposefully excluded from this analysis, just like Color Me Badd from the annals of time.

Make sweet lovin’ all night long…
(I wanna sex you up)
Feels so right it can’t be wrong…
(Girl you make me feel good )
Don’t be shy girl rescue me…
(I wanna sex you up)
Open up your heart and I’ll set you free

Concluding the song, the artists combine promises, orders and logic to ensure that the sexing up process takes place. The promises are that the sexing up will last all night, and that if the female opens up her heart, she will somehow be emancipated. How very creative it was for them to rhyme “rescue me” with “I’ll set you free”. Somewhere, probably as accounts receivable temps at VH1, the guys in Aerosmith are envious that they never managed to include something quite this insightful in a song of their own.

The demands are for the female to exhibit more Type-A behavior and to rescue him from his deficiency of sexing up interactions. Logic is employed as a tool of persuasion by noting that things which feel right cannot therefore be wrong, as this would be inherently contradictory. Though logical, the United States Supreme Court frequently disagrees with this rationale, however it is unlikely that the female subject is either a supreme court justice or has had experience trying a case in front of them so the argument is likely to resonate with her.