I know that you’ve probably already seen someone else clown this thing because it is just too hard to resist, and I can’t either, but I figured I’d wait a little bit. I’m pretty sure you’ve seen the commercials for the Obama Historic Victory Plate or otherwise been informed of its existence.

The designer of the site that sells the Obama Historic Victory Plate, a terrible piece of Ameri-crapa, not only took it upon him or herself to use black text on a blue background, they also designed it to auto-play the TV commercial without giving you the option to mute the sound. Granted, a 6-year-old in Bangladesh probably knocked this out in a half hour, but that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve some constructive criticism regarding their choice of color palettes and HTML abilities which parallels my desire to give that homeless guy with the cat that sits on top of the dog a handout in that it does not exist.

Now I’m not sure if the plate features an actual picture of Barack Obama or if the plate features a picture of a wax statue of Barack Obama, but either way something seems a little off with the photo. Adorning the top of the plate are the words “Barack Obama”, “Election Day” & “November 4, 2008″, the repetitive third phrase is there because “Thank you, Sarah Palin” apparently wouldn’t fit.

The site text also touts him as the first “African American Commander” however what the google translator tool the site authors used should have come up with is “African American Commander-In-Chief”. There have already been many African American Commanders such as Frederick D. Gregory who commanded the Space Shuttle Discovery in 1989 and Cmdr. George Thompson who was the first African American commander of the Navy Band, which by all accounts is way less cool than flying a Space Shuttle but probably helps his game during shore leave in San Diego.

Here’s what you get for $19.99 (+S&H) if you order the plate beside the knowledge that you deserve to die:

• One Original Historic Victory Plate
• One Historic Victory Plate Stand
• One Historic American Society Certificate of Authenticity
• Commemorative U.S. Mint Presidential Washington Dollar Coin

The coin has Obama on one side and George Washington on the other because what else could someone possibly come up with to put on a coin besides Geroge Washington? It won’t matter though cause it is uncirculated and you won’t be able to use it anywhere. Someone please call them to see if you can get the plate for $18.99 (+S&H) making the case that if the coin is worth $1.00 and you don’t want it, there should be no problem deducting this from the offering price if it does indeed have value.

Much like the Edward James Olmos Commemorative Wine Decanter, the Barack Obama Historic Victory Plate is the perfect compliment to any home furnished entirely at Rite-Aid. There is a limit of 2 plates per order which means that customers will likely still need to steal dishware from  Hometown Buffet in order to have enough place settings. Operators are standing by, marvelling at the existence of a country where people have enough discretionary income to waste $19.99 on a hideous plate.