You may not be as familiar with R. Kelly’s “You Remind Me of Something” as you are with some of the other songs I have dissected for you in this blog, but a fan of the blog recommended this one, and it was too good not to dive into. I honestly don’t know where R. Kelly came up with this, or why he decided to write these thoughts down and form a song out of them, but he’s giving the Dave Matthews Band a run for their money in the “Worst Shit Ever” category. The song’s analysis follows.

You remind me of something
I just can’t think of what it is

R. Kelly starts us off by indicating that the subject of his affection reminds him of something which is currently escaping him. Perhaps it is a jellyfish. Perhaps it is cilantro. Perhaps it is a silver mine in Arkansas he visited as a child. Let us see and explore…

[1] – You remind me of my jeep, I wanna ride it
Something like my sound, I wanna pump it
Girl you look just like my cars, I wanna wax it
And something like my bank account
I wanna spend it, baby

Guess I was off…R. Kelly’s memory returns and he reveals in quite plain English that he now recalls what this person reminds him of. He is also not without many a simile in mind when it comes to explaining. Under most circumstances, a male would not expect to gain a female’s affections by comparing her to a car, but R. Kelly decides to crap all over chivalry, and compares his woman to an off-road vehicle.

Moving on, he indicates that much like his sound, he wants to “pump” this particular female, and I feel it worth noting at this point that since he is using the verb “pump”, and much of this stanza revolves around automobiles, it would have been more insightful to use a gasoline reference and say “Something like Shell V-Power, I wanna pump it” rather than “Something like my sound, I wanna pump it”. Not my decision though.

Clearly suffering from writer’s block, he again compares this woman to his cars, which he apparently keeps shiny and states that he has the desire to wax this particular female, which would likely result in severe skin irritation for her not unlike the sensation of being tarred and feathered. It’s R. Kelly, so it’s pretty believable. Finally, he tops this misguided set of compliments off by revealing a predisposition towards financial irresponsibility, somehow desiring to “spend” this poor female like the $107.00 he likely has in his bank account. He does not elaborate on what he wishes to spend her on, or how he might convert her to actual currency, but I’m guessing it involves more automobiles and is somewhere between 427.00-527.00 Eithiopian Birr.

It’s something about your love that’s got me going crazy
Baby, you know I want you real bad
And girl I really like your freaky style
How can I be down with you?
So get a little closer to my ride
I wanna get to know you lady
And hip me up on how to get inside you
Listen, pretty baby

We find this second stanza to basically just be a collection of statements thrown together. Rather than degrading his subject through car comparisons and viewing her as a unit of currency though, R. Kelly begins to let his true feelings known and ask questions. We soon learn that he is a fan of this woman’s “freaky style”, which is an ambiguous assertion, but leads him to implore her to tell him how he can be “down” with her. Mathematically speaking, we now have an equation as follows: R Kelly Level of Down-ness= (female freaky style)(female proximity to vehicle).

R. Kelly also reveals himself to be a respectful gentlemen because he actually wants to get to know this female, and “get inside” of her to really peer into her soul. At least I think that’s what he means. Finally, he asks her to listen which leads us to believe something important will follow.

[2] – I wanna roll it, roll it, roll it, roll it
Is all I wanna do for you baby
Girl, it’s something kind of sexy
Goin’ on about you babe
[repeat 1, 1]

I was wrong about something important coming. Here we learn that R Kelly wants to “roll it, roll it, roll it”. Is it a pie crust? R. Kelly, perpetual artist that he is, lets the listener decide for themselves. Is it dice? Whatever it is, he wants to roll it for the female. Is he perhaps a log roller? There is no transition between what it is he will roll and his statement that there is “something kind of sexy” he perceives to be going on here. “Sexy” is generally a clear cut characteristic, so if she is “something kind of sexy” maybe she has a pretty face, but an unflattering figure, or perhaps vice versa- again, the ambiguity is part of R. Kelly’s magic.

Now I would like to take you on a ride tonight
Girl, you know we’ll have so much fun
And give you everything your body needs
Satisfaction guaranteed
So pull up to my bumper and let the system sound
Girl, I bet cha’ I can drive you crazy
And let me be the one to drop you off
Babe, listen to me
[rpt 2, 1, 1...1]

Again with the cars. As is common procedure in courting rituals, R. Kelly offers to give the female a ride in his car, no doubt hoping to impress her with the wealth and prominence the car symbolizes and also to subtly assert control and dominance by being the one doing the driving. He perceives that this ride will be fun, so perhaps they will drive out to the country and maybe stop at a winery or possibly a cider mill. Rather than a picnic lunch, R. Kelly will be providing everything the female’s body needs which may consist of a nutrient-rich shake or several multi-vitamins. He has guaranteed satisfaction, so whatever it is he eventually provides for the well-being of her body must come with a solid warranty or return policy.

R. Kelly seems to feel that his sound system will be the convincing factor in whether or not the ride actually takes place, although he also seems to be confused as to where the sound actually emanates from as he instructs her to pull up to his bumper. Perhaps his vehicle’s exhaust is also impressive, although if he is in the Jeep, they are not typically known for their exhausts so I hope he explained that to her because otherwise she might be disappointed. He has implied an offer to give her a ride home, although all he says is “drop you off” so he may just be talking about the nearest bus stop.

Don’t be alone, don’t be alone
I’m comin’ through your door
Turn off the lights, turn off the lights, baby
It’s something about this moment
[rpt 1, 1, 1...]

Mercifully, the song culminates with R. Kelly imploring the female not to be alone, so I’m guessing she decided not to go on the ride with him because she was unimpressed by his sound system/exhaust. Undaunted by this setback, R. Kelly takes it upon himself to enter her place of residence under the cover of darkness created once the lights are turned off (unless it is daytime). It seems as though R. Kelly is breaking and entering, and although he can’t quite put his finger on it, when he says “it’s something about this moment”, I’m pretty sure that something is “illegal”.