Ok, first of all, I am very disappointed that no one commented on the crazy Japanese clip with the polar bear. Maybe you just didn’t know what to say like me during an awkward silence in the conversation when Jehova’s Witnesses come to my door, but still, I thought some of you would have a comment or two. Japanese people teasing polar bears with seal-hats, while wrong on so many levels, is a hilarious thing and I stand by that…

So, I was in the gym today running on a treadmill trying to figure out how I am any different than a hamster at that point. I mulled over the whole idea that a hamster can’t contemplate it’s own existence which makes me different, but if my existence only leads me to a treadmill where I am running like a hamster on a wheel, what’s the point of even contemplating it? Anyway, I looked around at all the people with iPods or some sort of MP3 player, and I came to the conclusion that if I were a superhero, in addition to all the cliche stuff like x-ray vision, and the ability to fly, shoot lazers, and run a mile in under twelve minutes, I would want the ability to know what song people are listening to.

I always wonder what it is other people in the gym are listening to because you try and get an idea from looking at them, but I’m sure there would be some surprises. It would be great if your music player just projected a hologram image above your shoulder that was a display of what’s currently playing. Some people wouldn’t be comfortable with this, but I wouldn’t care. So what if I listen to Christopher Cross’ “Ride Like The Wind” which also features the trance-inducing voice of Michael McDonald while I am running? I’d be proud to share what is helping me dig deep on that last mile.

I’m sure there’d be the standards like the frat-looking guy listening to Rage Against The Machine because it helps with his white-angst, but there would probably be so many surprises, like the cholo with “Papi” tattooed on his neck who isn’t listening to music at all, he’s listening to the audio book of Anna Karenina….in Russian because the translations don’t do it justice. Or the ~60-year-old Asian lady who is rocking “Du hast” by Ramstein on the elliptical. And perhaps that group of huge dudes, similar to the ones native to Seinajoki, Finland that tormented me in years past (you are better off having not experienced them) are lifting all that weight to the soundtrack from Beaches. These things could be happening all around, and you just don’t know. Oh well, I guess I can dream. Alright, back to Shark Week on Discovery Channel now because there is something great about watching a turtle bite a shark in the gills.